Haven or Hell?
by tragicfriday
Summary: What if Damon had found a doppelganger back in the 1980's before they had even met Elena? What if everything went wrong and 20 years had gone by and she's back to wreck havoc alongside Klaus? Can Damon get through to her once again and obtain her loyalty
1. Seeing Double

**A/N: This is my first vampire diaries fanfic and the idea was getting to distracting to resist. If all goes well, this might end up being a series. Let me know what you think :) I also have a livejournal that has some ideas of mine for the story and what the OC's are meant to look like. The link can be found through my profile. **

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><p><em>I don't know where I'm at<em>  
><em> I'm standing at the back<em>  
><em> And I'm tired of waiting<em>  
><em> Waiting here in line, hoping that I'll find what I've been chasing.<em>

_ I shot for the sky_  
><em> I'm stuck on the ground<em>  
><em> So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down<em>  
><em> I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?<em>  
><em> Never know why it's coming down, down, down.<em>

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><p>Chapter 1:Seeing Double<p>

The first time I saw Damon Salvatore was when I caught him staring intently at me in the university library with those blue eyes you could easily get lost in. But the first time I spoke to Damon Salvatore was a couple of days after that, when he politely had woken me from my frazzled slumber on one of the back tables in the local cafe off campus.

I was still human and weak, trying to get through life generally unscathed but college was proving to be the vain of my existence. It was my senior year and I was majoring in psychology, probably trying to find myself or the answers to questions that weren't meant to be found.

I looked up from the books that had moments ago served as pillows, slightly embarrassed at my public display of exhaustion, to the dark haired stranger who had just finished nudging me back to earth.

"I think they're closing." He said staring down at me with that gaze I still have to this day ingrained in my memory.

"Oh, thank you. I guess the caffeine has proven to be just as useless as I had thought." I mumbled gathering my things swiftly and clumsily. Those textbooks weighed me down so much, eliminating any chance I had at being graceful. I caught him staring at me once again, not in a creepy way, but more so as if he knew me or at least were familiar with me.

"Maybe it's my complete lack of sleep but have we met?" I ask testing the waters.

"Not formally no. I'm pretty sure you're in my mythology class though. I'm Damon Salvatore."

"Haven." I said wondering instantly if I should disclose personal details with a complete stranger. There was just something about his gaze that had me convinced it was alright to keep the words falling from my mouth.

"That is a unique name."

"Yeah my parents were hippies." I laughed.

"Do you live on campus?" he asked watching me try to carry my book bag without further show of weakness.

"No I live with my sister off campus." I replied as I exited the café and into the night air. Fall had crept upon us suddenly and I soon realized a sweater would have been great, feeling a chill that crept down to my very bones.

It probably hadn't helped matters that it was the 80's and I was sporting white washed denim ripped jeans and a band t-shirt.

"Thanks for waking me up, I'll see you around."

"Are you going to walk home?" he asked with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah, I misplaced my wings so walking it is." I said with a shiver.

"You're cold." He said as if amazed by the fact.

"Just one of those consequences of being warm blooded I guess." I looked at him as if he was a total nerd and let out a small nervous laugh as he approached me.

He slowly took off his leather jacket and handed it to me and grabbed my book bag to give me the opportunity to readjust and put the jacket on.

"I'll walk you home." He offered simply.

Usually the thought of allowing a stranger to know where you live and walk you around the city at night would be setting off every damn alarm in my head to the point of adamantly refusing the offer. But it was as if his eyes told me to comply and everything would be ok. So I did.

"It's not far." I offered, beginning the trek down the street in the direction of my desired destination.

"How old are you?" he asked as if genuinely interested

"22."

"And you're a psychology major?"

"Yea hopefully getting a degree by the end of the school year. Kinda why I'm studying like crazy."

"What do you want to do with it?"

"If all goes as planned, helping the mentally ill. What's your major?"

""History." He said with a small smile.

"What are you going to do with it?" I said slightly mocking him.

"I have no idea." He chuckled.

"Mythology your elective too?"

"Guilty. You said you had a sister. Are you two close?"

"Close enough. We're like polar opposites actually. This is me right over there. Thanks for going to the trouble." I said waving him off.

The irony of that parting would be apparent the next time I ran into Damon Salvatore.

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><p>Damon had been stunned the moment she caught his eye. At first he was convinced that somehow Katherine had come back to him. That it was all a game that she was playing but the instant he heard the girl's heartbeat he knew it was something else entirely. How could they look so alike? The chances of him even finding her were extraordinary.<p>

Was the reason he was so infatuated by her merely based on looks alone or was it how remarkable she seemed every time he watched her? Yes he had been watching her for weeks now, before she had even noticed his gaze. She noticed because he allowed her to. Compelling her was sometimes an option to get the information that he needed. It was an oddity to realize he actually had control over her mind whenever he so desired unlike how Katherine had been the one always in power.

Before they had even spoken, he knew where she had lived and he knew all about her family. He would weave his way slowly into her life and have all the details in place. The only thing he knew for certain was that he could not allow his brother to know of her existence. This girl would be his and his alone, that he was certain of.

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><p>My older sister Sadie as my own words had described before could not have been more different than myself. We were like night and day in all seriousness. The question had always been though, who was which. Physically you would have never even guessed we were related. She was pale and blonde with our mother's eyes. I on the opposite side of the spectrum had the olive complexion, brown eyes, and dark hair.<p>

When we were growing up, she was the one who had it together. She had to all things considered. She took care of me ever since I found mom in the bath tub soaking in her own blood and everything had fallen apart. I was six years old. Sadie was ten.

Looking back now, she had probably been bi polar and couldn't deal with us anymore. It hadn't always been that way, but those months right before it happened are always what sticks in your head.

Dad became a complete wreck and I wonder if mom had been able to keep it together, if his schizophrenia would have ever even surfaced. When I was thirteen and Sadie was seventeen, they finally took him away and locked him up for child endangerment when he almost bludgeoned Sadie to death, thinking she was an intruder. After there was no one else, Sadie was obligated to take care of us. I was a screw up in general until I hit high school and tried to turn it all around for my sister. I felt like I owed her and I did.

Sadie became a bartender and it made especially good money, but it also pulled her into the night life so far that I barely knew who she was anymore. I rarely got to see her for extended periods of time, and she was finally able to focus on herself now that I had my shit together.

At that point in my life I was over looking for a companion and I had the broken heart to prove it. I used to have a large social group but as soon as I got clean and focused on the future, they decided I wasn't worth their time.

Sadie on the other hand, never had time for friends until then. And men had become her favorite past time. I wouldn't judge her but honestly from a psychological standpoint we both demonstrated daddy issues in the dating department. While I shunned letting anyone close to my heart after years of thinking I needed someone to protect me, my older sister would try to prove men couldn't hurt her. She would move on quickly and in a sense hurt them before they had a chance to hurt her.

So when I realized the man on my sister's arm that night was in fact Damon Salvatore, I wasn't sure what to think.

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><p><em>I'm not ready to let go<em>  
><em> Cause then I'd never know<em>  
><em> What I could be missing<em>  
><em> But I'm missing way too much<em>  
><em> So when do I give up, what I've been wishing for.<em>

_I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?  
>I'll never know why it's coming down, down, down.<br>Oh I am going down, down, down  
>Can't find another way around<br>And I don't want to hear the sound, of losing what I never found._

_Lyrics: Down by Jason Walker  
><em>

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading and giving it a shot. If you liked what you read then leave me a review. Also reviews and subscribing by putting this on your alerts is the best way for me to judge whether or not to continue and how much time and effort to put in on updating. Thanks to everyone who puts in the effort to let me know what you think :) <strong>


	2. We Radiate

**A/N: I tried to incorporate some 1980's slang in this chapter so if it kinda throws you, I will offer a live journal post you can find the link to through my profile which will show you the meanings that I have found through some googling. Sorry for the long hiatus between updates, my life has just gone crazy since I posted the first chapter but thanks for staying with me. I have been obsessed with the soundtrack from the show and it has been offering me a lot of inspiration lately.**

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><p><em>I saw your face in the crowd<em>  
><em> Everyone dancing<em>  
><em> I asked if they knew your name<em>  
><em> They couldn't see you<em>  
><em> Thought I'd walk over<em>  
><em> Stood there right next to you<em>  
><em> Got a sensation<em>  
><em> You were right for my body<em>

_Ha-ha-ha-ha_  
><em> You're heaven<em>  
><em> Ha-ha-ha-ha<em>  
><em> We radiate<em>

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><p>Chapter 2: We Radiate<p>

It was close to midnight and the atmosphere of the club was thick and intoxicating with life and movement. I sat at the bar with a vodka cranberry, waiting to see my sister who had been the one to convince me to show in the first place. Usually I would insist on taking advantage of the down time to study, but she had a valid point. I couldn't remember the last time I had been out on a Saturday night and I had become just shy of a total dweeb.

Seeing a familiar face, I waved Scott over who was currently bartending and a friend of my sister's.

"Have you seen my sister?"

"Earlier, she was with someone. Why? Is something wrong?" he looked worried.

Of course she had to be with someone. I wanted a girl's night yet she had already found a joystick for the evening. The look on Scott's face said everything. He was confused about my presence because everyone who knew me, knew the only reason I would be there normally, would be because of Sadie's hellacious antics.

"No, I was just supposed to meet her here tonight. I know me and fun usually don't mix. Just call me Joanie." I sighed.

"Well let me get you another one of those and maybe we can fix that." he said with a smile and went to get me a second drink.

Scott wasn't bad looking, but I had already come to the conclusion my sister should give him the time of day instead of everyone else other than him.

For not being used to the club atmosphere anymore, I was still confident in myself and my appearance. I had crimped my hair and put it up half way so that my dark hair still fell past my neck in the back but I had some airflow to breathe. I had kept it simple with a little black dress that hugged my body close.

I had expected the stares, but there was that tingling on my skin that I had only remembered feeling once before. When those blue eyes had raked over me inch by inch, with such intensity it made me shiver just thinking about it. I studied the faces of the patrons sitting around the bar until my eyes locked with his. My breathe caught in my throat when I realized his presence. Scott came back with my cocktail and I thanked him with a smile. Once he disappeared so had Damon from his place across from the bar.

I sipped my drink slowly letting the vodka wash over my senses. Why did I always react the same way when he was around me? There was an unexplained familiarity there, that I just couldn't understand or explain.

A nameless stranger sat next to me and was very obvious in his intention to leave the club with a skank on his arm. While he offered a string of compliments and pick up lines that I'm sure he thought made him sound rad, I found the condensation on his beer more interesting.

His hand had begun massaging my exposed thigh when I offered him a look that I wish could have killed him the scumbag where he sat. Did this airhead really somehow think I was into him to go as far as touch me?

Before I was given the chance to react appropriately, my sister appeared behind the schmoozer and excitedly moved past him to hug me.

"You actually showed!" she exclaimed, excitement dripping from her words. "We are going to have an awesome night!"

I took this opportunity to escape the claws of that socially perverted moron and glided toward the dance floor. That was when I noticed who exactly my sister's date was. Sadie was fast with the unnecessary introductions and without making the fact known that we already knew each other, my blue eyed stalker avoided the awkward moment and began to dance along with her.

I'm not sure which seemed to bother me more, his eyes on me and his hands on my sister, or the way he looked at me as if he was trying to seduce me. Or of course there's the fact that his looks were leading me into a mess of inner turmoil.

I quickly got lost in the crowd and attempted to distance myself from the couple. Never before had I even given a second thought to one of Sadie's conquests. Before long I had a couple of college guys trying to grind against me and I felt securely guarded from his eyes. I let the blaring music drown out my thoughts and allow my body to sway in time to the rhythm.

When I was younger, the club had been my escape. I would go with a fake id, get loaded at the bars, and then lose myself and my problems on the dance floor. Who had I been trying to fool? Being good never really was a mold I could fit myself into. I enjoyed pushing the limits and seeing how far into trouble I could get myself before really plummeting off the edge.

I guess that's how Sadie felt now. Like she needs to test some invisible limit to feel like she's not the girl I'm trying to be or successfully fooling everyone that I am. Lost in my oblivion, I barely noticed the change in the people around me as the music slowed down.

Only that tingling feeling that eventually turned into a pulse when his hands settled on my hips, made me notice my new dance partner. Damon Salvatore had found me once more. All hesitance I initially felt about him, I felt it drain away as soon as our bodies connected.

Turning around to face him confirmed my initial suspicion of his presence.

"What happened to my sister being your dance partner?" I asked looking up at him expectantly.

"She found another date." Damon smirked at me.

"Oh so I'm your plan B huh?" I gave him a playful grin.

"I don't see it that way."

"Oh, how do you see it then?" I challenged.

"I saw you first. I want to see more of you." he smirked.

"Why?" I asked simply but I could tell that the question caught him off guard.

"Isn't it obvious." he whispered in my ear. I could feel his warm breath on my neck now and I knew then he could feel that pulsing tingle too.

That was the night when I first realized there was no denying Damon Salvatore any longer.

There was something about being around him. It felt dangerously thrilling and a major head rush in the best way possible.

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><p>We barely made it out of the club before he had me in between his body and the brick wall behind the club. Any ounce of morality I had left, was not enough to hush the certainty that I needed him in that moment as our lips began a battle that would not soon end. But he was the one to yield to temptation that night. After an eternity of his lips crashing into mine, leaving them swollen and wanting more, he pulled away to look at my lust filled eyes. That was the first time I caught a glimpse of vulnerability deep inside of him.<p>

He caressed my jar line as he stared pensively at me.

"Your lip is trembling." he said staring intently.

"Is it?" I asked clearly close to being breathless.

To answer my question he seized my lips once more hungrily as if he was one step away from saying to hell with it.

He looked at me once more, this time with a smirk.

"That's better." he whispered.

His justification behind the action made me laugh, as I readjusted my clothing and pulled down the dress that had rode up my leg during our make out session. His eyes had wandered from my face down to my clothing.

"Fuckin a you're beautiful." he said wrapping his arms around my hips.

I felt the corners of my lip turn up with no hesitation at his words. In any other ordinary circumstances you would wonder how I could feel this way so suddenly. Well you will come to find, that our relationship was anything but ordinary. I never thought I could feel completely safe and absolutely fearful of the next moment at the exact same time until being in the arms of Damon Salvatore.

Over his shoulder I watched as my own sister sauntered past in a close embrace with none other than Scott from earlier in the evening.

"Sadie?" I asked, surprise evident in my tone.

She turned around and as her gaze met mine, all she could do was smile. She didn't seem completely wasted, maybe a bit tipsy. And when she spoke, she seemed herself, which instantly made me feel more relieved. If she was finally going to take the chance with Scott, I would hope she was at least in a state of appropriate awareness.

"Haven! There you are! I thought for sure you bailed on us or left with some yuppie." she giggled. " I'll probably stay out tonight so if you and the stud want to get horizontal tonight, fricking have at it. I'm sure he knows a good time." she winked at him suggestively before Scott lead her down toward the main street.

"Well at least I know she legit isn't into you. I've been waiting for Scott to finally make a move too. They look good together." I reasoned.

"Told you we weren't serious. The only girl I'm serious for, is you babe." he smirked.

"Forgive me if I laugh at the cheese." I let out a chuckle and then pecked him on the cheek. "Walk me home?" I asked but it came out more suggestive than I had intended.

"Oh okay, so you'll leave with this dickhead and be the skank I pegged you for. Well you're tits weren't that great honey." I heard the hate filled slurs behind me before I could hear Damon's answer.

I turned around quickly and took in the sight of that perverted moron from the bar now spazzing out over the two of us.

"You need to get bent and go home, because the only way I would be leaving here with you is in your dreams. So take your warped perception of reality with you before tonight turns hellacious for you."

I never had patience for idiocy and Damon's presence just reassured me that I could explode without needing to really worry about the outcome.

Damon hesitated for a moment, until the man made a slight step toward me, and that was all it took for him to be in between the two of us.

The two men stared each other down, but the idiot soon backed down after being threatened by Damon so softly I couldn't make out the words. Whatever he said worked though, because the next thing I knew the man was turning around and walking away without further incident.

"Where were we?" Damon asked turning to look at me once more.

"I believe you were taking me home."

"Shall we then?"

"Well I'll feel much better with my own personal bodyguard." I quipped making him chuckle.

"I see now that you definitely can hold your own in the verbal battle department."

"I wish my physical strength was as good as my wit."

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><p>When we reached my house, a two story run down Victorian that had seen better days, there was an awkward silence. It was that whole does he want to be invited inside to continue the night, do I want to continue, or should we hold out for another time.<p>

"Did you want.."I began gesturing to the door but before I could finish the statement he spoke up.

"I do, but I think we can save it for another night. I have work early, and you look tired already." he grinned seeing me offer a soft pout. "I would very much like to see you again soon though." he continued.

"Then I guess this is goodnight for now." I said looking up into his eyes.

"I'll see you in class Monday, save me a seat?"

"Sure." I nodded in agreement.

"Goodnight." he said softly leaving a peck on my cheek before he was gone.

"Goodnight, Damon." I said softly to myself foolishly as if he could still hear me as I opened the front door.

Now being alone with my thoughts before finally falling asleep, it occurred to me that I couldn't shake the numbers 1, 4, 6, and 8 from my mind. Maybe I really was as stressed out as everyone thought and I was finally cracking.

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><p><em>Ha-ha-ha-ha<em>  
><em> You're heaven<em>  
><em> Ha-ha-ha-ha<em>  
><em> We radiate<em>

_ I felt a chill in the air_  
><em> It's not me dancing<em>  
><em> Everyone looks kinda strange<em>  
><em> Colors colliding<em>  
><em> I'm in possession<em>  
><em> This is no ordinary<em>  
><em> Friday night disco<em>  
><em> You stepped into my body<em>

_Lyrics- We radiate by Goldfrapp  
><em>

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><p><strong>AN: Thanks for reading! Hopefully I can update sooner but I also have 2 other stories I am working on currently. One is for the show glee and another is wrestling so if you're into that, you should check it out to tide you over because I tend to rotate how I update them. It has a lot to do with the response I'm getting through reviews and subscriptions and how motivated I am. Let me know what you guys think and be my first reviewer because that's always nifty and gets me excited to write...*hint* *hint* haha. Make sure to subscribe for the latest updates! <strong>


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